[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons. [2.0s] It's a day off, motherfuckers! [4.0s] Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! [6.0s] Good day! Good day! Five gold! [9.0s] Make it to the end of the haunted house! [11.0s] And the treasure's all yours! [13.0s] You are in a miserable cubicle. [16.0s] All three levers up, the crawlspace door opens back up. [20.0s] It's about a three foot crawlspace. [23.0s] And you crawl for ten or fifteen minutes. [25.0s] A lot of crawling. [26.0s] It's a pretty long time! [28.0s] And you find your back at the entrance to the haunted house. [32.0s] I can't believe he's trapped us in another fucking place. [36.0s] It's all in the same place. [38.0s] In another maze. We're in another fucking maze is what we're doing. [41.0s] This never ends with this guy. [42.0s] So you enter into a new chamber and there are three chests. [47.0s] Go to the gold one and I investigate it. [51.0s] Not this one! [53.0s] Why not? [54.0s] I think there's snakes in there. [56.0s] Oh, okay. [58.0s] And inside the oak chest springs an animated giant skeleton. [64.0s] Thea is going to cast Eldritch Blast on this motherfucking bony skeleton bitch. [70.0s] You let forth three Eldritch Blasts and they strike into the skeleton, [75.0s] welling up with this magical energy and explode the skeleton across the room. [80.0s] Thea, I feel like, do you want this ring in this box? [83.0s] You really like blasted the shit out of that skeleton. [86.0s] Yeah, you kind of earned it after that. [88.0s] And I cast Detect Magic on it. [90.0s] You can detect that it is a ring of protection. [93.0s] You all three walk through. [95.0s] The mist envelops you and you find yourself back at the beginning of the maze. [102.0s] But instead of the stone floor, it is turned back to wood. [106.0s] And you look down and the three of you are completely naked. [112.0s] Now we're talking. [115.0s] Well, there's your three chances. [117.0s] Hope you try again next time, eh? [119.0s] You guys head off perhaps into the Yawning Portal Inn. [122.0s] You open the door and it's a loud ruckus event going on [126.0s] and you hear, somebody's gonna get fucked! [132.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. [134.0s] We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast [137.0s] and I'm your dungeon master Russ More [139.0s] and with me today all smiles is Amy More. [142.0s] I'm trying to bottle up and push down my rage [146.0s] and this is going to help me because I play Thea Amastasia. [150.0s] And Carla Johnson. [152.0s] I'm always trying to bottle up and push down my rage. [156.0s] And I play Nylaura Moonbrook. [158.0s] You do it very successfully and finally Tom Laird. [162.0s] Whole lot of rage here too, but I think I do a pretty good job [166.0s] of tamping it down and I play Flintfire Reard. [169.0s] I kind of feel that Carla might be the Hulk. [172.0s] That's what I was going for. [174.0s] It's 100% possible. [176.0s] My secret is I'm angry all the time. [178.0s] I'm always angry. [180.0s] That's the one, not the one that I said. [183.0s] You wouldn't know from the outside because you look at us four [186.0s] and we're all very, generally speaking, even killed people. [189.0s] It's true. [190.0s] They're all just like Canadians. [192.0s] We just hate life. [193.0s] Just seething. [194.0s] Secretly seething lots of stuff. [196.0s] Volcano of anger inside you. [199.0s] You know where there's lots of volcanoes of anger? [202.0s] It's over on Patreon. [204.0s] I hope that's not true. [206.0s] I don't know. [207.0s] I think we're doing a poor job. [209.0s] Yeah. [210.0s] You know where there's... [212.0s] Wait for it. [214.0s] You know where there's not volcanoes of anger? [216.0s] Over on Patreon. [218.0s] Here it is. [219.0s] That's good. [220.0s] And when you're a patron of ours, it's very simple. [223.0s] We dedicate an episode to you. [225.0s] And today's episode is dedicated to Richard Lawrence. [229.0s] Yay, Richard. [231.0s] Richard. [232.0s] Richie. [234.0s] Uh. [235.0s] Rich? [236.0s] Rick. [237.0s] Dick? [238.0s] I mean, Dick is a... [239.0s] I mean... [240.0s] It is. [241.0s] I know many Dicks. [242.0s] Everything he signs, it's always Richard. [245.0s] Okay, let's go with Richard. [247.0s] No nicknames for you. [248.0s] No nicknames. [249.0s] You rock. [250.0s] Thanks, Richard. [252.0s] Um... [253.0s] Fuck it, let's play D&D. [255.0s] Because I don't have anything else. [257.0s] Let's do it. [258.0s] Nice. [259.0s] Let's do this. [260.0s] Get to it. [261.0s] Previously, you guys did some Halloween business. [264.0s] Which has worked up now. [267.0s] I mean, that was kind of the idea, though. [269.0s] Okay. [270.0s] Okay, good. [271.0s] I don't feel so bad about that. [272.0s] Because what we needed, Russ, was a real lesson in humility after all of our incredible successes. [277.0s] All of our successes. [278.0s] Yeah. [279.0s] We were getting a little full of ourselves. [281.0s] Absolutely. [282.0s] And I was like, I wish just at the end, you know, we would just be like shamed and naked. [287.0s] Yeah. [288.0s] Like literally, literally naked. [289.0s] We really burned through that maze so fast that you had to knock us down. [293.0s] The hubris. [294.0s] The hubris in this group. [296.0s] Out of this world. [297.0s] Russ thought the maze was going to take us a full calendar year. [300.0s] And it didn't. [302.0s] Quite. [303.0s] Exceeding expectations all over the place. [306.0s] It did take three months. [308.0s] It took a quarter. [309.0s] It was a crazy amount of time. [310.0s] It took a quarter over here. [311.0s] Listen, we don't have to put measurements on things and use like units like months. [317.0s] I mean, in game, it barely took any time. [321.0s] Exactly. [322.0s] That's true. [323.0s] Let's lift that leg. [324.0s] Yeah. [325.0s] Exactly. [326.0s] So good. [327.0s] Are we going to talk about level ups? [328.0s] Sorry. [329.0s] But you guys did after that, after the maze, you should have leveled up. [333.0s] And you did. [334.0s] So let's talk about that. [336.0s] What happens at level 13? [338.0s] Well, level 13 feels pretty good. [341.0s] Not a lot that happens at level 13. [343.0s] No. [344.0s] It's kind of just like the Tuesday of levels. [346.0s] Yeah. [347.0s] Yeah. [348.0s] It's really hurtful. [349.0s] Yeah, proficiency bonuses went up, so that actually will be great. [353.0s] Now Flint probably has like a plus 25 to every hit, I would assume. [358.0s] Yeah, probably. [359.0s] Something like that. [360.0s] We'll see how it goes. [361.0s] I got one new spell. [363.0s] Me too. [364.0s] That's fun. [365.0s] What did you get? [366.0s] It's vine related, as almost all of my spells are. [370.0s] That's pretty good though. [371.0s] It's called grasping vine. [373.0s] So I conjure up a vine, and it will grab a creature within 30 feet, unless they succeed [381.0s] on a deck save, and it will pull the creature 20 feet towards them. [386.0s] Well, that's fun. [387.0s] Yeah. [388.0s] So that's pretty fun. [389.0s] Nice. [390.0s] I also got one. [391.0s] It's a seventh level spell, and it's Firestorm. [394.0s] And I get to create 10 foot cubes of fire within 150 feet of me. [401.0s] So I'm just like, lighten this place up. [403.0s] Glad I went first. [404.0s] That's pretty badass. [405.0s] Oh, just wait for me to bring it home, guys. [408.0s] Wait for me to bring it home. [410.0s] I can reroll a saving throw. [412.0s] I fail twice now instead of just once. [414.0s] I mean, that's pretty great. [416.0s] It's great, but nothing compared to fucking Firestorm. [419.0s] Well, until when she gets an eighth level spell, I don't know if anything [423.0s] will compare to Firestorm, because that shit's rad. [426.0s] Sounds pretty baller. [427.0s] Yeah. [428.0s] I thought Sunbeam was really awesome, and then Firestorm came along, and I'm like, [431.0s] cubes of fire? [432.0s] See you later, Sunbeam. [434.0s] That is like one of the sharpest angled 3D shapes there is out there. [440.0s] True. [444.0s] You raise a valid point. [445.0s] Yep. [446.0s] Yeah, I do. [447.0s] You guys are just being nice speaks that hard name. [449.0s] I appreciate it. [450.0s] Keep it coming. [451.0s] Russ, did you get any level ups as the DM? [455.0s] Oh, I got a lot of level ups. [457.0s] I'm not allowed to talk about those level ups, though. [460.0s] Extra plus a bajillion to all my rolls. [464.0s] Wow, okay. [465.0s] Wow. [466.0s] Critchfails don't count for me. [467.0s] Okay. [468.0s] Wow. [469.0s] This game's level DM is pretty baller, y'all. [471.0s] Pretty badass, isn't it? [472.0s] That's not the Tuesday. [473.0s] That's the Friday. [474.0s] Yep. [475.0s] No, I'm kidding. [476.0s] Well, I mean, every level has to be good for somebody. [479.0s] This one's good for me. [481.0s] Yeah, Firestorm was great. [483.0s] Oh, yeah, but it's not DM. [486.0s] It's not DM going on. [488.0s] It's all right. [489.0s] Not jealous. [490.0s] It's fine. [491.0s] So, no, nothing happened for me. [493.0s] That's it. [494.0s] It's really, yeah. [495.0s] People are listening being like, oh my God, I haven't been leveling up as a DM. [499.0s] Am I supposed to be leveling up as a DM? [501.0s] The answer's no. [502.0s] Never listen to Russ. [503.0s] What things do you do? [504.0s] Dungeon Master Guide? [505.0s] Where is this section? [506.0s] Russ is just messing with us. [508.0s] Don't worry. [509.0s] Level them up. [510.0s] Yeah, DMs don't get to level up. [511.0s] They do get to create the level of difficulty around the players, though. [516.0s] So, really, it's like I get to level up every day. [518.0s] But you guys, you made it back to Waterdeep. [520.0s] You went through a little haunted house thing. [523.0s] You went and partied at the Yawning Portal. [525.0s] What happened at the Yawning Portal once you guys left the haunted house there? [529.0s] What did you guys get up to? [531.0s] I ended up making out with some half elf, half orc dude just in the corner. [539.0s] All night. [540.0s] Good for Thea. [541.0s] Nice. [542.0s] Way to go. [543.0s] Thea was very excited. [545.0s] Didn't go anywhere beyond that. [546.0s] She had an early morning. [548.0s] Well, Flame McKins was really trying to one up everybody there. [552.0s] What did Flame McKins get up to? [554.0s] We probably don't want to know. [556.0s] I mean, I saw her at the beginning of the night grinding up against some people [559.0s] who obviously did not appreciate it. [562.0s] But then after that, I kind of lost track of her. [565.0s] You know how when a dog takes its toy and just kind of humps it into submission? [570.0s] Sure. [571.0s] We're going to have to post a video, aren't we? [573.0s] Sorry, this is what Paisley does. [576.0s] And it is vulgar. [580.0s] It is aggressive. [582.0s] And it is vulgar. [584.0s] It is nothing like you'd expect this sweet little dog to do. [588.0s] It's just horrific. [590.0s] She's not sweet. [591.0s] And what did Flint and New Laura get up to there? [595.0s] We must have seen Grug, right? [597.0s] I know we saw him earlier, but I assume we waited until he wasn't performing [602.0s] and probably caught up and saw how he was doing and, you know, [607.0s] filled him in on our latest exploits. [610.0s] So that he could write songs for them. [612.0s] Exactly. [613.0s] And then they ended up naked in them. [616.0s] Yeah, maybe not about the haunted house. [618.0s] Yeah. [620.0s] Yeah, Grug was there. [622.0s] He was playing the song as you guys were walking down the street, [625.0s] which was graciously provided by our good friend Spencer out of game. [629.0s] He did write a song for us for that episode. [632.0s] Oh my God, Spencer's amazing. [634.0s] Spencer's great. [636.0s] But yeah, you caught up with Grug and all is good in his world, [640.0s] except for, you know, the end of the world. [642.0s] Yeah, we're all dealing with that. [644.0s] Yeah, I mean, everybody. [645.0s] I mean, just in the moment, everything was doing okay. [648.0s] Flint was asked to leave the establishment pretty quickly [652.0s] because he walked in Winnie the Pooh style. [654.0s] So he was wearing a shirt, but no pants. [657.0s] So yeah, he got kicked out pretty quick. [659.0s] So after the haunted house, you just put a shirt on? [662.0s] Yeah. [663.0s] Oh bother. [664.0s] Oh bother, indeed. [666.0s] Okay, well, I mean, it's nice that you're so comfortable with yourself now. [672.0s] When before you weren't so a lot of character growth for him. [675.0s] Yeah, it really is. [676.0s] It's maybe you've overcorrected, but it's still it's nice. [680.0s] Well, you got to steer into the skin, right? [682.0s] Well, that's good. [683.0s] It sounds like everybody had a great night [685.0s] and you now find yourselves waking up in the morning in your own rooms. [691.0s] I mean, you may be alone. [692.0s] I'll leave that up to you. [693.0s] What's everybody doing? [694.0s] Let's start with let's start with Thea. [698.0s] Well, Thea goes through her morning routine. [701.0s] She splashes her face with some water and it's all like dewy [706.0s] and beautiful and shit naturally like an elf is. [709.0s] And she braids her hair into a beautiful big long plate [714.0s] and gets dressed because she sleeps nude. [718.0s] As you're getting dressed, you find a note [721.0s] that you may have left to yourself that says [725.0s] Meet the group for breakfast at the Yawning Port. [729.0s] Thea picks it up and looks at it and she goes [732.0s] Thanks, slightly drunk past self. [735.0s] And I and I tuck it into my pocket because I got dressed [739.0s] and I go out the room with a little pep in my step. [745.0s] You know, after a good night of just frivolity. [748.0s] I like it. [750.0s] Heading off on her way, [752.0s] she probably woke up a little late as far as timeline goes. [756.0s] When does Flint wake up and what does he do? [759.0s] Flint woke up real early because, you know, [763.0s] he had a few drinks before he got kicked out of the Yawning Portal. [767.0s] But he went to bed pretty quick. [769.0s] He was out of there and then he got up. [771.0s] Sorry. [773.0s] How long were you in there Winnie the Pooh style [776.0s] to get drinks before they noticed you? [779.0s] Oh, no, the drinks were just on the bar [781.0s] and he just picked them up and started drinking them. [784.0s] He knew they were going to kick him out right away. [787.0s] Like the security was walking over and he was just grabbing people drinks. [791.0s] Oh, OK, fair enough. [793.0s] I'm impressed. [794.0s] And yeah, so he got to bed pretty quickly after that. [797.0s] He woke up real early because it takes a long time [800.0s] to get his beard looking as good as it normally needs to look. [803.0s] So there's a lot of oil and combs and brushes and various things. [807.0s] So that was pretty much his entire morning [809.0s] which is for your maintenance. [811.0s] Wow, interesting. [813.0s] We're learning a lot about Flint, I think. [817.0s] And as you were escorted or left or thrown out of the Yawning Portal, [822.0s] I don't know how close they got to you. [824.0s] Optimistic. Out! [826.0s] You remember hearing someone yell, [828.0s] Mina's here in the morning! [830.0s] But put pants on! [832.0s] He's put pants on. [834.0s] Long pants. [837.0s] Fine, whatever. [839.0s] And as you head out on your way to start your day, [843.0s] give me two good old D20 rolls there. [847.0s] Two of them? [848.0s] Two of them. [849.0s] OK. [852.0s] The first one is a 12 and the other one is a 10. [855.0s] All right. [856.0s] Are there bonuses? [857.0s] Negative. [858.0s] OK. [859.0s] There are no bonuses in life. [860.0s] Good. [861.0s] Yep, you head out on your way to the Yawning Portal. [864.0s] Mm-hmm. [865.0s] And Donnie. [866.0s] Mm-hmm. [867.0s] What time do you wake up and what are you doing? [869.0s] I think we probably get up pretty early. [871.0s] I think I'm kind of a, you know, sunrise riser kind of person. [875.0s] So we, I would imagine, like, head out for a walk around the city. [880.0s] Donnie wants to, like, you know, I'm taking Donnie for a walk, essentially. [885.0s] He's got to, like, spread his wings. [887.0s] He didn't have a great time, you know, the Yawning Portal. [890.0s] This isn't like, it's not really his scene. [893.0s] So, yeah, we get up early, take in the fresh air. [897.0s] There's not really that much fresh air, especially with the city totally, like, [900.0s] overrun with refugees and, you know, the streets packed and the remnants of the [906.0s] Harvest Festival littering the streets. [908.0s] But we still, we still do our normal morning thing of taking a walk around. [913.0s] I assume you two were given the direction of where to meet in the morning. [917.0s] Yes. [918.0s] Yes, I assume so. [922.0s] So you go about your morning, and when you think it's appropriate to go get [927.0s] yourself some breakfast, you begin heading towards the Yawning Portal Inn. [931.0s] And you're a good ways away because you had wandered, you know, just kind of [935.0s] see what the crowds were doing. [937.0s] And there are a lot, like, as you described, there are a lot of people [941.0s] packed into the streets. [942.0s] But normally, your time in Waterdeep, it wouldn't quite be as such. [948.0s] And as you're entering back into the district, you hear from behind you a man [956.0s] shouting, no, McCavage! [961.0s] And as you turn, you see a large, big white furry buffalo chewing up a man's [971.0s] vendor's cabbages. [974.0s] And you see four young, they look like adventurers, trying to push the beast [980.0s] off of the cabbages as the vendor's screaming at them, stop it! [984.0s] What are you doing? [985.0s] Get your goddamn stupid buffalo away! [991.0s] I can't come up with a word for it. [993.0s] But I do like all the mouth noises he makes. [995.0s] He's very furious, right? [997.0s] There's a lot of, like, you can tell he's very mad. [1000.0s] Yeah, when you're so mad, you can't even say anything. [1002.0s] You're just sputtering and making that sense. [1004.0s] And these four young adventurers, they seem like they're having a difficult [1007.0s] time getting this buffalo away from the delicious cabbages. [1011.0s] Those delicious cabbages, sure. [1013.0s] Well, I'm going to, I guess, go try and help. [1016.0s] Does it have any kind of, like, must have a rope around its neck? [1020.0s] It's there. [1022.0s] It does. [1023.0s] It's their giant buffalo, I assume. [1025.0s] It would appear on first glance that it's probably their buffalo. [1028.0s] It does have a furnace-type rope tied around its head. [1032.0s] Sure. [1033.0s] As you get closer, you start hearing them kind of talking to the buffalo, [1037.0s] and they're like, come on, scruffy, just get off of this, jeez. [1042.0s] So I go over and say, like, hey, you guys, can I help? [1047.0s] I don't know, I think we're fine. [1051.0s] And the vendor's like, no, get the buffalo away from here, [1054.0s] if you can help, please. [1056.0s] Are all four of them, like, pulling on the rope or a couple pushing? [1060.0s] A couple are trying to push it from one side, [1062.0s] while one couple are reefing on the rope. [1065.0s] Okay. [1066.0s] I am going to reach into my pocket where I have a sugar cube, [1074.0s] because sometimes I give them to Donnie. [1077.0s] See, he's got a little bit of a sweet tooth, [1080.0s] and I kind of hold it out in front of the buffalo [1082.0s] to see if I can entice it away from the cabbages with something sweet. [1088.0s] Buffalo roll, do you need me to do a buffalo? [1091.0s] Animal handling is probably what you want. [1093.0s] I am good at that. [1096.0s] So that is a 21. [1099.0s] I'm pretty good at animal handling, guys. [1102.0s] This buffalo is mid-chomp into this huge head of cabbage, [1106.0s] and the shop owner is, like, pulling what hair he has left out, [1111.0s] and it looks up and smells the sugar cube [1114.0s] and begins to move towards your hand. [1116.0s] Perfect. [1117.0s] So I kind of, like, I'm holding my hand out, [1119.0s] and I kind of am, like, you know, backing away [1122.0s] so that it's leading kind of away from the cabbages, [1125.0s] and then whoever the closest adventurer is, [1128.0s] I kind of, like, beckon with my other hand [1131.0s] and hand off the sugar cube to them [1135.0s] so that they can keep leading it away. [1137.0s] One of the young men, they look at you, [1140.0s] and they say, thank you, thank you, sorry. [1144.0s] And then they look at the shop owner, and they're like, [1147.0s] I'm sorry, and he's like, [1148.0s] get out of here and get your cabbages somewhere else. [1151.0s] Yeah, guys, it's not the best place to have a buffalo. [1157.0s] I mean, I guess you're here. [1159.0s] Were you here for the harvest festival? [1161.0s] Or, I mean, maybe a couple of you [1163.0s] could have waited outside the city with it. [1165.0s] You know, it's a big animal. [1167.0s] Yeah, we were bringing in an order [1170.0s] of some lumber and stuff [1172.0s] to try and build some makeshift houses. [1175.0s] But, yeah, he got kind of hungry, [1178.0s] and we didn't have anything on us. [1181.0s] We hadn't got paid yet. [1182.0s] So he likes the cabbages a lot. [1187.0s] Okay, well, hold on a minute. [1190.0s] So I go back to the vendor, [1192.0s] and I buy a few cabbages, I guess quite a few. [1196.0s] It's a buffalo. [1197.0s] They're really big. [1198.0s] I think he's got a taste for cabbage. [1200.0s] So I grab, like, an armful of cabbages, [1203.0s] and I come back and give them to the other adventurers [1206.0s] and are like, here, sorry you haven't gotten paid yet. [1209.0s] It's kind of, you know, the whole world's falling apart. [1213.0s] What can I say? [1214.0s] And I give them a couple extra sugar cubes, too, [1216.0s] so that they can, in case this happens again, [1219.0s] despite the cabbages I have given to them for the buffalo. [1224.0s] They say, thank you, thank you so much. [1227.0s] We don't have anything to give you. [1231.0s] Just if you ever need somebody to pull something for you, [1237.0s] we can help. [1238.0s] Awesome, thank you. [1239.0s] I will keep that in mind. [1241.0s] My name's New Laura. [1242.0s] You guys have a good day. [1244.0s] They kind of look at each other. [1246.0s] New Laura? [1247.0s] Well, okay, thank you. [1250.0s] They start to stammer over their words. [1253.0s] You be safe. [1255.0s] You guys, too. [1257.0s] Thank you. [1258.0s] And they kind of pull in a, come on, Scruffy, let's go. [1262.0s] And they hurry off down the street, [1264.0s] looking back over their shoulder. [1266.0s] They look a little awestruck that they just met you. [1270.0s] And you continue on your way. [1273.0s] Heading toward that yawnin' portal. [1277.0s] Thea? [1278.0s] Yeah? [1279.0s] You head out into the street. [1280.0s] You're not far from the yawnin' portal. [1282.0s] You're in an area where there usually isn't hardly any people. [1286.0s] It's kind of where the royalty live. [1288.0s] And it's packed. [1289.0s] You're trying to weave your way through the street [1292.0s] to get down to the inn. [1294.0s] And you see a couple kids zip by, [1299.0s] one screaming at the other. [1302.0s] A girl is chasing after a boy who, [1305.0s] you're uncertain what is happening, [1307.0s] but she's saying, give it back! [1309.0s] Give it back! [1310.0s] And he's yelling, I'm gonna destroy your toy! [1314.0s] I don't care what you tell Mom! [1316.0s] And he's got this doll. [1318.0s] And he looks like he's trying to, like, [1320.0s] tear its head off of its body, [1322.0s] as this girl is just crying. [1324.0s] She's in tears at what she's doing. [1326.0s] They're chasing each other through the streets. [1330.0s] I watch them for a moment, [1334.0s] and I continue walking until I've positioned myself [1337.0s] in the path where they'll have to run in front of me. [1340.0s] And I put my leg out, and I trip the boy. [1345.0s] But before he hits the ground, [1347.0s] I reach forward and I grab his arm. [1349.0s] So he doesn't face plant. [1351.0s] You know, like, I'm not looking to, like, [1353.0s] break a kid's tooth. [1356.0s] He's not paying attention to anything else around him, [1359.0s] and he goes, like, ass over tea kettle. [1362.0s] He's gonna hit face first, [1364.0s] and you catch him, and he looks up at you, [1367.0s] spooked and scared. [1368.0s] What happened? [1370.0s] You almost fell on the ground [1373.0s] after tripping over my foot. [1374.0s] What's making you run so fast, little man? [1377.0s] He's trying to destroy my things, my toy! [1381.0s] A little girl runs up behind him. [1383.0s] What are your names? [1385.0s] My name's Abigail, [1387.0s] and my name's Ivar. [1391.0s] Ivar, Abigail, my name is Thea. [1394.0s] You guys seem to have a problem here. [1397.0s] Yeah, he won't give my toy back. [1399.0s] Why won't you give her her toy back? [1401.0s] Because she's a little snitch. [1403.0s] Uh-oh. [1404.0s] Tells on me all the time. [1406.0s] Girls, snitches get stitches. [1408.0s] I take the toy from... [1411.0s] I take the toy from Ivar. [1413.0s] I say, can I see it? [1416.0s] I guess. [1418.0s] He seemingly reluctantly hands it over to you. [1422.0s] All right, now, is there a specific event [1425.0s] that you're angry that Abigail ratted you out on? [1430.0s] I mean, she told my parents [1432.0s] that I was out past curfew, [1434.0s] at the harvest festival. [1436.0s] How old are these kids? [1438.0s] I don't know. [1439.0s] He's maybe 12. [1440.0s] He's probably like seven or eight. [1442.0s] Okay. [1443.0s] Ah, out at the harvest festival, huh? [1446.0s] See anything good? [1448.0s] There was some good music, [1450.0s] and there was this haunted house [1452.0s] I wanted to go in there, [1454.0s] but instead I got a little scared. [1456.0s] Yeah, no, you know what? [1457.0s] It was crap anyway. [1459.0s] Abigail, why'd you tell on your brother? [1461.0s] He's not supposed to go out. [1462.0s] There's too many people. [1463.0s] He'll get in trouble. [1464.0s] He'll get hurt. [1466.0s] Oh, it sounds like your sister's [1467.0s] really worried about you, Ivar. [1469.0s] Yeah, I guess. [1471.0s] You know what? [1472.0s] I don't have any brothers or sisters, [1475.0s] and if I did, I hope that I'd have one [1477.0s] that would care about me [1479.0s] as much as your sister cares about you. [1482.0s] Okay, yeah. [1484.0s] What do you say we give her her toy back? [1486.0s] And Abigail, what if you let your brother [1490.0s] have a little bit of independence [1492.0s] and learn some lessons on the fly [1495.0s] through making mistakes [1496.0s] instead of running to Mom and Dad [1498.0s] every time he does something wrong? [1500.0s] As long as he stops destroying my things. [1503.0s] I think he will. [1505.0s] Both of them look up at you. [1508.0s] She's kind of expectantly, [1510.0s] because you're holding her toy, [1511.0s] and him, like, shit. [1514.0s] I give her back the toy, [1516.0s] and I say, listen, [1517.0s] you don't become a decimator of dragons [1519.0s] by snitching or breaking the rules [1522.0s] your parents give you. [1524.0s] When you say decimator of dragons, [1526.0s] they kind of look at each other. [1529.0s] He's like, I heard a song [1531.0s] about the decimator of dragons. [1534.0s] Yeah, that's a good one. [1535.0s] Yeah. [1536.0s] Okay, you guys, run along. [1538.0s] Thank you. [1539.0s] Stay out of trouble. [1540.0s] Thank you. [1541.0s] She's crying into her toy [1543.0s] as she runs off. [1545.0s] Continue on your way [1547.0s] and make it to the front door [1549.0s] of the yawning portal, Flint. [1551.0s] On your way. [1553.0s] Nothing so nefarious happens to you. [1555.0s] It's children stealing each other's toys. [1558.0s] And a gentle white buffalo. [1561.0s] Nefarious. [1562.0s] Nefarious all over here. [1564.0s] Cabbage-stealing buffaloes. [1566.0s] Cabbages. [1567.0s] Thief. [1568.0s] You make your way to the yawning portal, [1572.0s] and again, you are weaving through [1574.0s] people sleeping in the streets [1576.0s] and passing by and waking up, [1579.0s] because it's earlier in the day. [1581.0s] And you get about halfway [1584.0s] or three-quarters of the way there, [1586.0s] and you feel something brush up against your leg. [1590.0s] I take a look to see what is hitting my leg. [1594.0s] You look down and you see a cat [1598.0s] kind of weaving itself between your legs. [1603.0s] Like in a friendly way? [1605.0s] Yeah. [1606.0s] All right, I give him a little scratch [1608.0s] between the ears. [1610.0s] It purrs and it nuzzles up against you. [1615.0s] Where'd you come from there, friend? [1617.0s] As you're petting it, [1618.0s] you notice that it's pretty thin. [1620.0s] Like it's been perhaps on the streets [1623.0s] for quite a while. [1625.0s] Do I have any food with me? [1629.0s] You should have some rations on you, yeah. [1631.0s] I wonder how much Flint likes cats. [1633.0s] He kicks it and he's like, [1634.0s] ah, get out of here! [1635.0s] Totally. [1637.0s] This is what character development, [1639.0s] this is what we find out. [1641.0s] So yeah, I take a look in my knapsack [1644.0s] and I find suitable rations [1647.0s] to break off for this little cat. [1649.0s] I kneel down and start handing it some food. [1653.0s] How big are the pieces that you're handing it? [1656.0s] Oh, they're small. [1657.0s] I've crumbled them up in my hand, [1659.0s] so it can just kind of go to town all at once. [1661.0s] It looks a little nervous [1662.0s] before it begins to take a couple pieces [1666.0s] and chew them looking up at you, [1668.0s] and then it eats quite readily out of your hand, [1673.0s] and then a loud noise happens [1676.0s] as a group of vendors behind you [1679.0s] are throwing boxes around, [1681.0s] and it scurries off down an alleyway. [1684.0s] Well, I guess I'll see you next time. [1687.0s] You stand up and begin walking down [1689.0s] towards the awning portal, [1691.0s] and as you push the door open, [1694.0s] Bork takes over. [1696.0s] I'm not wearing any underwear. [1698.0s] And as you step in [1701.0s] and announce this to the open room, [1704.0s] Thea, New Laura, Flameykins, and Thaddeus [1707.0s] are sitting staring at you, [1709.0s] and Flameykins is like, [1710.0s] Oh, again? [1712.0s] We weren't wearing it last night either. [1714.0s] Well, at least he's wearing pants. [1716.0s] I guess that's an improvement, right? [1718.0s] I mean, he didn't announce it last night, [1720.0s] but that's fine. [1721.0s] Well, I don't think he had to announce it, Flameykins. [1723.0s] Pretty obvious. [1725.0s] To everyone. [1726.0s] Touche! [1727.0s] No, no touche. [1729.0s] No, no touching. [1731.0s] Flamey, come and sit down [1732.0s] and make Flameykins stop talking. [1734.0s] All right, all right. [1735.0s] So I hustle over there and pull up a chair. [1737.0s] Guys, I just found out today [1738.0s] I might make a great mother someday. [1741.0s] Oh. [1742.0s] Okay. [1743.0s] What happened? [1744.0s] What'd you do? [1746.0s] Oh, I stopped a little squabble [1748.0s] between some siblings. [1750.0s] I laid down some sweet life lessons [1753.0s] and changed some lives. [1755.0s] Wow. [1756.0s] You gave me some sweet life lessons last night, [1758.0s] let me tell you. [1759.0s] Oh, boy. [1760.0s] Is it the lesson of, like, [1762.0s] consensual touching and personal space? [1764.0s] That's a good lesson. [1765.0s] That's a very good lesson. [1767.0s] Out of game, that is a great lesson. [1769.0s] Great lesson. [1770.0s] Great lesson, yeah. [1771.0s] Yeah. [1772.0s] It was that lesson. [1773.0s] It wasn't that lesson, was it? [1775.0s] No. [1776.0s] Hmm. [1777.0s] Okay. [1779.0s] So I brought you all here today to tell you... [1786.0s] Mm-hmm. [1787.0s] Wait, did I bring you all here today? [1788.0s] You brought us here? [1789.0s] I'm waiting to see how this plays out. [1791.0s] I just really want to hear what... [1794.0s] Why'd you bring us here, Flamykins? [1796.0s] Yeah, why we were gathered. [1797.0s] I just had a note on my bedside table from myself. [1800.0s] Yeah, I told you to write that note, obviously. [1804.0s] I brought you all here today to tell you that [1807.0s] I am breaking up the band. [1811.0s] What? [1812.0s] I have to... [1814.0s] I have been recruited by the higher-ups [1819.0s] in the airship squadrons [1821.0s] to lead a group [1826.0s] into battle. [1827.0s] Is this true, Flamykins? [1829.0s] That doesn't sound right. [1831.0s] Did you...? [1832.0s] Well, I mean, okay. [1834.0s] Did you get a job on an airship [1836.0s] but you have to stay in the bottom [1838.0s] so no one can see or talk to you? [1840.0s] I mean, I got a job on an airship. [1843.0s] Okay, congratulations. [1844.0s] Okay. [1845.0s] Don't have to stay in the bottom. [1848.0s] Okay, but I'm not leading them. [1850.0s] I mean, sooner or later, [1851.0s] they'll see my leadership qualities [1853.0s] and they'll move me up through the ranks, [1856.0s] but right now, I'm... [1857.0s] Cream always rises to the top. [1859.0s] Absolutely. [1860.0s] You know what? [1862.0s] I'm just happy that you got a job, [1866.0s] and I'm also happy that you're not the one [1869.0s] leading some people into battle [1871.0s] just because I think that, like, [1873.0s] your skills are just... [1875.0s] You know what? [1876.0s] Sometimes the leaders have to deal [1878.0s] with so much red tape, [1879.0s] and you're just, like, [1880.0s] a get-it-done kind of person. [1881.0s] I am, aren't I? [1882.0s] You are. [1883.0s] So can I lift my orange juice? [1886.0s] What do you drink in the morning? [1889.0s] What? [1890.0s] Orange juice? [1891.0s] I was lifting, like, [1892.0s] whatever glass I have in front of me. [1894.0s] Milk? [1895.0s] Yeah, yeah, sure. [1896.0s] Milk. [1897.0s] Yeah, I lift my milk and I say... [1899.0s] Sure, there's coffee. [1901.0s] Yeah. [1902.0s] Dernan, give me some coffee. [1904.0s] She doesn't know what to drink. [1906.0s] I was trying to make a toast, [1908.0s] I was gonna say, [1909.0s] to FlamikinsKins. [1910.0s] Oh, yeah, thank you. [1911.0s] Thank you. [1912.0s] Whatever. [1913.0s] FlamikinsKins. [1915.0s] FlamikinsKins, when does your new job start? [1918.0s] Yesterday. [1919.0s] Why are you still here? [1921.0s] I don't know. [1922.0s] There was a party going on. [1924.0s] I figured I'd get one last. [1926.0s] Do you think they may have left without you? [1928.0s] No, the airships are still out there. [1930.0s] She looks out the window again, [1931.0s] and she's like, [1932.0s] yeah, no, they're still out there. [1933.0s] I'm still good. [1934.0s] Well, we'll miss you. [1935.0s] Well, I mean, [1936.0s] I'll miss you guys, too. [1938.0s] I'm sure I'll see you, you know, [1940.0s] around. [1941.0s] Yes, it's been good. [1943.0s] Thanks for getting me back from the forest. [1946.0s] Not gonna be the same without you. [1948.0s] It's not, FlamikinsKins. [1949.0s] We're gonna miss you. [1950.0s] I'm glad you're gonna be back on a ship, though. [1952.0s] It seems like that's kind of where you're meant to be. [1955.0s] Yeah, I've been missing the open seas. [1959.0s] I mean, I don't really get the open seas, [1961.0s] but it's kind of up in the air, [1962.0s] which is a really cool thing. [1964.0s] I mean, aesthetically, [1965.0s] it's similar to the ship you were on in the open seas, [1968.0s] so that's something, right? [1969.0s] Sure. [1970.0s] Still the same kind of creaking noise [1972.0s] and then the rocking. [1974.0s] A lot of familiarity. [1975.0s] Sick. [1976.0s] Is air sick instead of sea sick? [1979.0s] I'm sure it'll be back in my air legs in no time. [2004.0s] For a small monthly pledge, [2005.0s] you can have access to an amazing community of people, [2007.0s] as well as get access to a whole bunch [2009.0s] of amazing perks and rewards, [2011.0s] like monthly bonus episodes, [2013.0s] which as this is released, [2014.0s] a new episode of our Lunacorp Fatecore game [2017.0s] is scheduled to drop tomorrow, [2019.0s] so if you want to get in on that, [2020.0s] go check it out. [2021.0s] You'll also have access to DM notes, [2023.0s] gook hangs, [2024.0s] and we're in the midst of sorting out [2026.0s] how we want our 2019 to look, [2028.0s] talking about adding some new super cool stuff [2030.0s] once we get through this holiday season. [2032.0s] Check out all the details at Patreon.com [2034.0s] slash dumb dragon cast. [2036.0s] You can also support the show [2037.0s] by just sharing a link to your favorite episode [2040.0s] or just the show in general to social media. [2043.0s] Talk to your friends and family about us [2045.0s] or write a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, [2047.0s] or wherever else you can write reviews. [2049.0s] Every little bit helps us get in front of more people [2052.0s] who will hopefully love the show as much as you do, [2054.0s] and if you write a review, [2055.0s] we'll read it right here. [2057.0s] That's what we'll do. [2058.0s] All of our social media links [2059.0s] and more about us and the show [2061.0s] can be found at dumbdragons.com, [2063.0s] including where you can find the latest [2065.0s] in Dumbgeons & Dragons merchandise [2067.0s] in our T-Public and Redbubble stores, [2069.0s] and right now you can get 30% off in our T-Public store, [2072.0s] and you can find all of our amazing show merch, [2075.0s] but also a ton of great D&D designs [2077.0s] that are awesome for outfitting your wardrobe. [2079.0s] So go check out the website [2081.0s] and join, follow, or like where you can today. [2083.0s] And a big thanks to Syrinscape [2085.0s] for some of the amazing atmosphere. [2086.0s] Go visit their website, syrinscape.com, [2088.0s] to bring your games to life. [2090.0s] Links for everything mentioned today [2092.0s] can be found in the description and the next episode, [2094.0s] but it'll be out next week, Wednesday, November 21st. [2097.0s] But in the meantime, [2098.0s] let's join our friends back in the Yawning Portal, [2100.0s] and you have a great week, [2102.0s] and we will talk soon. [2110.0s] I hope so. [2111.0s] We were like literally just on an airship, [2113.0s] and you did fantastic. [2115.0s] Well, thank you. [2116.0s] Thank you. [2117.0s] You guys did pretty good, too, [2118.0s] but not enough to be recruited by the squadron. [2121.0s] Fair point. [2122.0s] Yeah, yep. [2123.0s] Thaddeus says, too, he's like, [2126.0s] well, if we're breaking up the band, [2130.0s] part of the battle against Tiamat, [2134.0s] I've been asked to join the Arcane Brotherhood's front, [2138.0s] and I believe unless you guys feel you need extra support, [2144.0s] which I mean, you guys, you've come a long way [2148.0s] since Grants has started telling me about you. [2152.0s] You've only died once since I've been around, [2154.0s] so that's a bonus. [2156.0s] Well, it may have been because you've been around Thaddeus, but... [2159.0s] Yeah, just know that when it comes to the final battle, [2164.0s] we will be there providing support to you and to everybody else. [2170.0s] What about you and the airships, Flammokin? [2173.0s] Are you guys going to be there, too? [2175.0s] I'm pretty sure. [2177.0s] There was some talk about, you know, [2179.0s] arranging how we're going to do this final attack here, [2183.0s] and they just seem to be waiting on something. [2187.0s] Well, they're waiting for you to step up and join their fleet. [2190.0s] They did. [2192.0s] Now they're not going to wait anymore. [2194.0s] We're to run a fleet of a thousand ships! [2196.0s] Were they waiting for you to leave the room [2198.0s] to continue talking about the plan? [2202.0s] I don't know. [2204.0s] I'm just curious. [2208.0s] What are you saying, Thea? [2210.0s] Loose lips sink ships. [2212.0s] You're saying people don't like to tell me secrets? [2215.0s] While they're having this conversation, [2217.0s] I'm going to, like, have an aside with Thaddeus, if I can. [2222.0s] Yeah, for sure. [2224.0s] And say, Thaddeus, I really hope that... [2229.0s] that you know that I didn't mean it [2233.0s] when I stabbed you in the chest. [2237.0s] I healed you right after, and I just... [2239.0s] I know that it's the dagger. [2242.0s] You know that, right? [2244.0s] I hope that's not why you're leaving us. [2246.0s] You hear in your head, [2248.0s] Oh, come on, you kind of meant it a little bit. [2251.0s] and Thaddeus is like, I understand. [2254.0s] I have been and will continue to do some research [2257.0s] and find whose dagger it is [2261.0s] or what they are responsible to. [2264.0s] I hope you figure it out soon, [2267.0s] because putting that on the battlefield [2270.0s] might be a... a detriment? [2274.0s] I know you're right. [2276.0s] But it could be so much fun. [2278.0s] I will still be there on the battlefield with... with you. [2284.0s] And together we should watch out for that [2288.0s] if you're not able to get rid of it before [2290.0s] or deal with it in a way that seems beneficial to your cause. [2296.0s] Yeah, I'm gonna try and get rid of it. [2299.0s] I just... I don't want it to make me hurt anybody if I... if I do. [2305.0s] You are strong, Nylar. You can fight it. [2308.0s] So you're telling me that I am the reason [2311.0s] that people don't tell other people's secrets? [2313.0s] No, no, no, that's not what I said. [2315.0s] You misunderstood me. [2316.0s] What I said was, sometimes when you're told... [2319.0s] And I want to have an aside with Thaddeus as well. [2326.0s] Go for it. [2327.0s] I lean over and I kind of put my hand next to my mouth [2330.0s] so that like everybody can't really see what I'm saying to them. [2333.0s] And then I remember that I have beard oil all in my beard [2336.0s] and it's everywhere on my head. [2338.0s] Which, if anyone's ever put beard oil in their beard before [2340.0s] and then touched their beard, you know exactly what I'm talking about. [2343.0s] How would Bort respond to the fact that Flint has so much beard oil in it? [2347.0s] Oh, he finds it. He's like, what the fuck is on my hand? [2352.0s] But he says, speaking of... I overheard your guys' conversation. [2356.0s] Speaking of getting rid of things, how do I... [2360.0s] How do I get out of this guy's head? [2362.0s] Pardon me? Flint? [2365.0s] Oh, do you not know? [2368.0s] Okay, so a while back... [2371.0s] Okay, long story short, there's two of us in this dude's brain. [2375.0s] My name's Bort. [2377.0s] Dragonborn, from a different planet. [2380.0s] And I want to get the fuck out of here. [2382.0s] How do I get out of here? [2387.0s] I mean, we were told a list of items to get at one point, [2390.0s] but do you have any leads on that? [2394.0s] Um... [2396.0s] No? What? Okay. [2399.0s] Well, pleasure to meet you, Bort. [2401.0s] Hey, if you're joining this arcane neighborhood, [2403.0s] you must know a thing or two. [2405.0s] So how would you approach the problem of two souls in one body? [2410.0s] Well, they must be... [2414.0s] separated, obviously. [2416.0s] No doi. [2418.0s] Anytime a soul has possessed or become part of another being, [2425.0s] it's a brutal and painful process in the ritual that ensues. [2431.0s] I mean, I got my head chopped off at one point, [2434.0s] which was pretty brutal and pretty painful, so I'm up for it. [2437.0s] Okay. Okay. [2439.0s] So the thing is, though, [2443.0s] unless you have been given a way to separate the souls [2448.0s] and, you know, put them in a vessel appropriate for a soul, [2452.0s] one of them is gone. [2455.0s] Mm-hmm. I mean, at this rate, I would even accept being gone, [2459.0s] just to be free of this prison. [2463.0s] Okay. Okay. [2465.0s] I can look into that more for you, good Bort. [2470.0s] Nice to meet you. [2472.0s] I would appreciate that greatly. [2474.0s] And he totally believes that this is not Flint pulling a fast one on him, [2478.0s] so that's good. [2480.0s] And I'm sorry to hear that this has happened. [2487.0s] Tom, roll a d20. [2491.0s] That is a one. [2492.0s] Huh? [2493.0s] You're still Bort. [2494.0s] Okay. [2496.0s] I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you, Bort. [2500.0s] It's all good, man. [2502.0s] If you could speed along, expedite that process, [2507.0s] that information for me, that would be aces. [2510.0s] I'm on it. [2512.0s] I'm on it. [2514.0s] And I will look into separating souls. [2517.0s] This is a new one for me, specifically. [2520.0s] Okay. Yeah. [2522.0s] This has been a good, insightful breakfast. [2524.0s] Ooh, boy. [2526.0s] Does he say that a little loudly? [2528.0s] He is like... [2530.0s] No one is supposed to know about the underwear that I gave to him, okay? [2533.0s] What? [2534.0s] What? [2535.0s] Well, now we all know. [2536.0s] You've given people underwear, too? [2538.0s] No, this was part of a... [2540.0s] That's what they were fighting about. [2542.0s] That was a secret that I told her that... [2544.0s] I've missed that part. [2546.0s] I'm having three fucking conversations here. [2549.0s] Get it together. [2552.0s] You leveled up and everything. [2553.0s] Yeah, level 13 DM. [2555.0s] Come on. [2556.0s] Okay. [2557.0s] You guys continue finishing up your breakfast. [2559.0s] Dernan brings you a full round. [2561.0s] It's a full English, as they say. [2563.0s] Ooh, big fry-up. [2564.0s] Yep. [2565.0s] It's very good. [2566.0s] And then Flamekin stands up, [2569.0s] which looks like she's much lower than she was before, [2572.0s] pulls herself up onto the chair and says, [2574.0s] Well, I think I'm off. [2576.0s] It's been a pleasure, folks. [2578.0s] I'll see you on the battlefield [2580.0s] when we will ride to Justice and Dawn [2583.0s] all the things that they say. [2586.0s] Stay safe, Flamekins. [2588.0s] Yeah. [2589.0s] Work on that battle cry for the actual battle. [2592.0s] I look forward to hearing it. [2594.0s] Yeah, probably. [2595.0s] If you're going to be leading those ships, Flamekins, [2598.0s] it's probably a good idea. [2600.0s] Right. [2601.0s] How did that one go that you said, Flint? [2603.0s] I'm not wearing underwear? [2605.0s] I'm not wearing underwear! [2608.0s] It throws your enemies off. [2609.0s] Trust me. [2610.0s] It's got a good ring to it. [2611.0s] I like it. [2612.0s] All right. [2613.0s] And she leaps across the table [2615.0s] and gives each of you a big hug. [2618.0s] I slip a condom in her pocket [2620.0s] because I'm worried about her safety. [2622.0s] Make a stealth roll. [2625.0s] 20. [2626.0s] Wow. [2627.0s] Yep. [2628.0s] Slip. [2629.0s] And everybody else, [2631.0s] or at least Thaddeus, stands up at this point and says, [2634.0s] Well, we still have these grungs, [2637.0s] but these grungs will have to wait till after the battle, [2643.0s] I believe. [2644.0s] And hopefully you can join me at that point. [2647.0s] If we don't defeat Tiamat, [2649.0s] the grungs aren't really going to have much of a home to go to anyway. [2652.0s] That's true. [2654.0s] I run over and I give him a big hug. [2656.0s] Yeah. [2657.0s] Big hug. [2658.0s] Does he look uncomfortable? [2659.0s] I mean, he kind of has the old man. [2662.0s] He's not used to physical touches. [2666.0s] Face. [2667.0s] And then he reciprocates it. [2669.0s] A nice warm hug. [2671.0s] I imagine Thaddeus be a good hugger. [2674.0s] It is at least an 18. [2678.0s] Oh, that's a good hug. [2680.0s] That's a really good hug. [2682.0s] I give him one of those forearm handshakes [2685.0s] where you grab the inside of the forearm. [2687.0s] To check for weapons? [2689.0s] To check for weapons. [2690.0s] Just to shake his hand. [2692.0s] You find there's a Glock 45. [2694.0s] Oh, that's a surprise. [2696.0s] It's an interesting place to keep it, too. [2698.0s] Yeah. [2700.0s] I approach him with my hands real up in the air, [2704.0s] almost like I'm unarmed, [2707.0s] but also I am going in for a hug. [2710.0s] He gives you the finger guns. [2712.0s] That's fair. [2713.0s] And he's like, ah, ah. [2714.0s] That's fair. [2715.0s] And then he gives you a hug. [2717.0s] And then you hear in your head, Nularaaaa, [2719.0s] Come on, just one more. [2721.0s] Just in the... [2723.0s] No, OK. [2724.0s] Maybe not today. [2725.0s] It's a sentimental moment. [2726.0s] I get it. [2727.0s] Oh, that's swell. [2728.0s] I'm glad the dagger's reasonable. [2730.0s] Swell. [2731.0s] Somewhat reasonable. [2732.0s] I mean, he reads the room, [2734.0s] so that's all you can ask for. [2736.0s] And Thaddeus and Flamigan's head out [2738.0s] of the yawning portal in... [2741.0s] Freeze frame, silhouetted against a bright day, [2746.0s] a tall Thaddeus, a tiny Flamigan [2750.0s] leaving the yawning portal. [2753.0s] Super sweet. [2754.0s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod [2758.0s] of incompetech.filmmusic.io. [2761.0s] Oh, I'm the yawning portal over here. [2764.0s] They ain't here. [2766.0s] It says. [2767.0s] Looks to have to do with a great story. [2769.0s] I mean, I could be talking to you. [2771.0s] You are. [2772.0s] I mean, I could be talking to you. [2774.0s] I mean, I could be talking to you. [2776.0s] I mean, I could be talking to you. [2778.0s] I mean, I could be talking to you. [2780.0s] I mean, I could be talking to you. [2782.0s] I mean, I could be talking to you. [2784.0s] I mean, in real life, whenever I see a cat, [2787.0s] I literally meow at it, so it's not so crazy [2790.0s] he would talk to it. [2791.0s] I'm literally like, [2792.0s] hey meow meow, meow meow meow, [2794.0s] to every random cat I see on the street. [2797.0s] So I'm not saying that's not weird. [2802.0s] Just saying it's not weird that Flint would [2804.0s] talk to a cat that approached him. [2806.0s] It is done. [2808.0s] It is done, exactly. [2810.0s] Is that the voice? [2811.0s] I don't remember. [2812.0s] I think it was. [2813.0s] It's the voice now. [2814.0s] I really thought it was much more silky. [2816.0s] Oh no, he's pretty creepy now. [2818.0s] He's been smoking this whole time. [2820.0s] Yeah. [2821.0s] Just like two cats and marbles a day. [2824.0s] That's where he's at. [2825.0s] It's true. [2826.0s] You know what a good game is for two people? [2828.0s] Magic the Gather. [2829.0s] I was going to say sex. [2831.0s] That's what I was thinking too, Amy. [2833.0s] That too. [2834.0s] Depending on the two people, I mean, [2836.0s] for a married couple, certainly. [2838.0s] Yep. [2839.0s] Great. [2840.0s] You know what? [2841.0s] I don't think you can play both those games [2843.0s] in the same night. [2845.0s] Nope. [2847.0s] Nope, because magic takes a long time to play. [2850.0s] Yep, that's why. [2852.0s] Yeah, that's it. [2854.0s] You nailed it. [2856.0s] Yeah. [2857.0s] Are we recording? [2858.0s] Yeah. [2859.0s] We should go into the bloopers. [2860.0s] Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.